Feelings and Thoughts
July 23, 2008
It is remarkable how the depth of this subject (law of attraction and positive thought) becomes more clear as we explore all the facets of it. I hear people talk about thinking positively when it is feelings that they are mostly experiencing. Is this valuable?
Sometimes it is very valuable. It depends on the nature of the feelings. Let me explain.
When feelings are the result of reasonable thoughts the feelings need to be felt to be released. For example, supposing one is experiencing feelings of sadness related to loss of a loved one. This is real. This person is in grief and needs to be in that sad place to work through it. It is when people want to quickly remove themselves from the depths of sadness that paradoxically it lingers longer or gets suppressed only to raise again at a later date and sometimes in a more seriously unhealthy way. Grief is a necessary experience. There is such a thing as healthy grief.
There are several emotions we label negative because they are uncomfortable. We may tell oursleves “I shouldn’t feel this way” “I need to get over this”. They are uncomfortable for a reason. These so called negative emotions are like physical pain. If we did not experience pain, we would not know that something is the matter with our body. Likewise these uncomfortable feelings like anger are telling us something.
When a person feels the anger… I mean feels where it is in the body and what it feels like, it is not uncommon for underlying emotions to begin to make them selves heard. For example the anger turns into feelings of hurt or disappointment.
When a person really feels the emotions, it does not mean acting on it. Acknowledging the feelings, experiencing them, and noticing any changes in them is far different than shouting or banging a pillow or sending angry emails. Feeling it gets into the center of it and that is where it get released … when ready.
This is some of the inner work I referred to in a former blog message. This is the part that may require a counsellor. And this is the part that is healing.
Likewise it is important to really feel the happier emotions like joy and love and pleasure.
And so I wish you an enjoyable summer day.
Marie
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I recall a therapist who encouraged me to pound and flail a pillow to release anger that was stored from an unjust situation. She left the room to accomodate my ‘cleansing’. I felt plain silly. I did a few half hearted pounds and flails. None of it reached the core of my distress. Now in reflection I can open that sore place and honour it with wisdom and honest grief. It has lost its power.